


Lannister Family Holiday

by Ashesintheair



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Happy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4170786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashesintheair/pseuds/Ashesintheair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Lannister family goes on holiday. Nothing but a bit of happy fun in a not-quite-westeros setting. Short and sweet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tyrion

Tyrion looked at the row of smug, self satisfied holiday makers, basking in the warmth. He let them enjoy it a moment longer before turning to the man who followed him.

“Bronn, I would like a sun lounger,” he said, a little curious to see how the man would handle it.

Bronn shrugged, then simply walked behind the row, upending each one until the previous occupant slid into the pool. There was shrieking and splashing, and a few of the quicker ones tried to cling on, only to be unceremoniously kicked off.

Bronn watched impassively as they struggled out of the pool, clutching drenched beach towels.

“All yours.”

“I like your methods,” Tyrion said as he clambered onto a lounger. “Other men might have asked which one, but you offer me a choice.”

“It was difficult to choose which one I’d like to see swimming.”

Tyrion pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes. “If my sister or my eldest nephew think to join me, see that they go for an impromptu dip.”


	2. Tywin, Myrcella, Tommen

The waves were still a long way out, and the sound of the rush of the water was so constant that Tywin had long ago ceased to hear it. 

He looked over at his grandchildren - two of them, Joffrey having gone to do whatever Joffrey did when he wasn’t trying to bring shame, wrack and ruin on their family. They were mostly quiet, engaged in giggles and whispers so he walked the short distance and sat on the sand between them.

“What’s this?” he asked, in a gentler voice than he was accustomed to using.

Tommen looked unblinkingly at him and let his sister answer.

“Castles, grandfather,” she supplied promptly. Fear was an unknown for her, and that was a quality he both valued and found troubling.

Tywin ran an eye over the twin castles. They couldn’t have been more different. Tommen’s castle was pretty but not practical, while Myrcella’s was the polar opposite.

“Let me tell you a little about castles,” he began and Tommen started to relax, realising that his grandfather wasn’t there to deliver a scolding. “There are a lot of different things you can do, different ways to use the fortifications.”

Tommen gave a little nod, but Tywin wondered if he understood the longer words. He tried again, keeping the terms simpler. Joffrey might be the heir, but he would need Tommen to hold a Lordship for him some day. And Myrcella… He cast his gaze over the little girl with the sharp green eyes. They were both so very Lannister and he was grateful for that and chose not to press that too far. It served no purpose.

Myrcella might be a girl and useless to hold a castle in her own name, but she would marry someone who would. And his own sister, Genna, had shown him how useful it could be to have a strong Lannister woman guiding the the man who made the decisions. It would be useful for her to learn, too.

“Look, here. You have no defense if this wall falls,” he pointed to Tommen’s fantasy of sand and water. “The wall is the only thing that holds anyone out. What if men came from your sister’s castle and lay siege? Once they come over the wall, it’s over.”

He turned to Myrcella’s creation. “See this. There’s a killing space between the layers. That’s good. But this one is obviously a difficult castle to break. Sometimes that’s useful. Sometimes it is more worthwhile to hide your defences. Subterfuge can be valuable. If someone can see your defences perhaps they can counter them.”

“Maybe they’ll be scared and go to another castle,” Myrcella suggested.

“Only fools leave untaken castles behind them in a war.”

Tommen frowned and looked again at his castle. “If they leave yours, Myr, they might come and get mine instead.”

“That’s right,” Tywin nodded and started to pile sand up in the space in front of him. “You have a duty to your bannermen. They fight for you, but you have a duty to hold their lands secure, not to sit safe while they all burn.”

He started to shape the sand with one hand, and beckoned them both closer with the other. “Now then, let’s see what the three of us can build.”


	3. Jaime and Joffrey

Jaime had spent an unprofitable half hour skulking around the bar in the hope of finding his sister, with the hope of spending another rather more enjoyable half hour, but Cersei wasn’t to be found. He was about to go and look for her somewhere else, when a man he could only presume was the hotel manager found him instead.

“Please, your son-”

“He isn’t my son,” Jaime said automatically, towing the party line on the subject.

The manager didn’t let it interrupt the flow of the conversation. “He’s causing trouble, I must insist…”

Jaime walked away before the man finished talking. It would be Joffrey. It was always Joffrey. He sighed heavily. _All I wanted was a weekend away with Cersei. I should have known it wouldn’t be quite as simple as leaving the Boars and Whores Weekend leaflet next to Robert’s wine glass._ Cersei, of course, hadn’t wanted to leave the children. Then Tywin had decided that he needed some quality time with the youngest Lannisters. After that, Tyrion had refused to be left out of a family trip, and where Tyrion went, his grubby sellsword followed. 

Still, having to deal with Joffrey was a step too far, and so he wasn’t in the best of moods as he followed the sound of raised voices, quite sure he would find Joff somewhere close by.

Joff had found a wedding party, a high vantage point, and a fairly high quality… well, calling it a water pistol made it seem a lot more innocuous than it was.It was grade A water fight weaponry.

Jaime jogged up the stairs, muttering under his breath all the while. “You should’ve put this one down at birth, Cersei.”

Laughing to himself, albeit with a slightly hysterical bent, Joffrey ignored his uncle’s approach and set about squirting the feet of the prettier bridesmaid to make her dance.

“Ok, Joff, that’s enough.”

Joff barely even glanced in his direction. “You can’t tell me what to do. You aren’t my father.”

For a moment, Jaime didn’t know whether to smile at the unintended hilarity of the comment, or to leave it and let Cersei deal with the little brat. But there was a third option.

Jaime pulled the water pistol from Joff’s hands, there was a struggle and somehow - with more than a little help from Jaime - Joffrey ended up dangling head first over the balcony rail.

“It’s alright, I’ve got him,” he called down to the worried looking wedding guests, who, while relieved that the trial by water had now stopped, were not at all sure that they preferred what looked like attempted infanticide. “He just slipped.”

He had one hand wrapped in Joff’s Tshirt at the back of his neck and the other had the kid’s leg - just in case the Tshirt slipped. He didn’t _actually_ want to splatter Joff all over the paving slabs. Well. He was tempted. But it would almost certainly mean he wouldn’t get laid for the rest of the week.

When he decided that the terrified and sobbing Joffrey was scared enough to do what he was told, he set him back down.

“I’m going to tell Mother!”

“You do that. Maybe mention it to your Grandfather while you’re at it. I’m sure he has valuable things to say on the subject of Lannisters behaving like fools.”

Joffrey glowered at him. “Dog! Where were you? Why didn’t you stop him?”

Turning quickly, Jaime saw The Hound step out of the shadows. “Right here, Your Grace.” The tall man gave an idle shrug and exchanged a glance with Jaime. “You tripped and fell.”

Joffrey had gone nearly red with rage and stamped a foot. “Mother will-”

“If you have to keep threatening me with your mother, then go and play in the under 3’s pool. That’s the place for those kind of words,” Jaime said. He didn’t watch as Joffrey stomped away, instead bending to pick up the water pistol. “Now, this is quite something.”

Sandor held up its twin and raised one eyebrow.

“A water fight? Don’t you have to follow your master, like a good hound?”

“I doubt His Grace will be troubled overmuch by the under 3’s.”


	4. Cersei and Jaime

Cersei stood and watched the sun sinking into the sea. The noise of the day had dimmed down to a few distant voices and the scraping sounds of pool loungers being dragged and stacked. She wasn’t used to feeling calm, but right now, looking into the sun, she couldn’t think of another word that could describe how she was feeling.

“Hey. I’ve been looking for you all day.” Jaime wandered up the slope behind her and she turned her head back, just enough to show that she welcomed the intrusion.

“There’s a cove, just around the bend in the coastline. It’s quiet and hidden from the road. I’ve been getting a tan. All over.” She raised one eyebrow and leaned back into his arms. “Perhaps tomorrow you could join me.”

He laughed quietly at that. “Well, now, maybe I will.”

She hadn’t realised how quickly the temperature dropped once the sun dipped below the sea. She was still in the bikini that she had worn (on and off) for most of the day, a wrap around her waist, and her skin that had been soaking up the heat all day started to prickle with goosebumps. She was barefoot still - it was easier to make the short climb down to the cove that way.

Jaime’s hands rubbed at the goosebumps on her arms.

“It reminds me of the cliffs at Casterly up here.”

Cersei nodded. “That’s what I thought. The water is as deep, too.”

There was a pause, and then, “You aren’t thinking of doing that, surely.”

She laughed and snuck a quick look around past her twin to see if there were any prying eyes. She shook his arms off and untied the wrap from her waist. The silk drifted down to the ground on the light breeze, but she paid it no mind. She was already untying the knot at the back of her neck and dropping the halterneck top to the ground to join it. The bottom half of the bikini was added to the pile a few moments later. 

Jaime was grinning at her, and she took a few quick steps towards the cliff edge. 

“If you want me, you had better come and get me. And I will be most disappointed if you’re wearing any clothes when you do it,” she said archly.

The last few steps she took in a run before diving from the top of the cliff, arching her body into a perfect swan dive. Her hair streamed behind her as she fell. There was no splash, just a ripple where the water almost seemed to welcome her in.

It was perhaps six heartbeats before he followed her.


End file.
